Stepping out into an adoption is like stepping into a war zone. I recently read an awesome blog post of a fellow adoptive Mom who described the spiritual warfare that began in her home as soon as they said "YES". I mean crazy things like their ceiling falling through, their home being infested with rare German roaches and more. She went on to say "Of course there is warfare, the enemy has wanted posters with our child's face all over hell". Wow, I had never thought of it in such a way!
I have been really pondering on those words and the reality and gravity of the situation since!
This adoption is a complete step of faith and a total following of his will for us too ... Obedience! While we LOVE children, are passionate about orphans and adoption, we felt pretty complete in our comfy lives. Hmmm mmmm, I'm thinking the enemy loved seeing a little complacency and comfort. Right where he works in the midst of our apathy!
We were content following the Lord's leading in Doug's wild business adventures, passionate about our role as Associates for our agency, America World, praying fervently about a larger orphan ministry and enjoying life. We didn't "Feel" complacent. And then, what seemed like overnight the Lord said "GO" and to be honest, though I know he knows all the details ... his timing seems really crazy and well UNCOMFORTABLE!
Yep, the enemy has captured thoughts of mine and well, let's just say, the warfare has begun!
Doug and I have been on a road of "Self Employment" for a few years now. To add, he also is over operations of a new and awesome coffee company, Ground to Cup Coffee. While the company is amazing and I am certain the Lord has some mighty things in store with this company ... it's also a baby and that means that more finances are being put into it than are being re-cooped out. And yes, that also means, Doug's work doesn't necessarily reflect what we are being paid. UGH!
This
I find myself on some days and especially nights saying "Lord, when you said "GO", did you realize that that also entailed $35,000?? "Lord, can you see that my head is reeling in fear and doubts". "Lord, I mean, really, this doesn't seem to make any sense ... did you mean NOW?
He does.
Spiritual warfare has begun.
Finances seem to be the worry right now ... which isn't uncommon for any adopting family. But then the enemy throws in things like last night. I walked outside to find my car with a big ol' flat tire. Great. All I see are dollar signs and well, how much fun is buying new tires anyway? Wham!
As I laid in bed last night I confessed to Doug my fears. I told him of the pending expenses to get our home study started and our Dossier sent off. No small amount for sure. He confess back worry. Wham! My husband, the spiritual giant worried? You know that enemy is working overtime! Wham, Wham!
The lights went off and I laid there. Tears. Questions. Doubts. Wham! Wham! Wham!
Stumbling through the dark, I came downstairs because I couldn't sleep. I jumped on facebook to see who else might be up. Maybe a distraction would empty those thoughts so I could sleep. I put a status update that said something about my head swimming in doubts and fears and then as quickly as I sat down at the computer, I got up and went to bed.
I awoke this morning to a few friends who left me comments to that status. Encouragement. Prayers.
And then there was a scripture ...
Psalm 5:1-3 (NIV) Give ear to my words, O Lord, consider my sighing. Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray. In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.
As I read the words of the scripture that a dear friend posted my eyes filled with tears.
My Lord knew, he knew, what the enemy was up to. He knew even before I had a thought of fear and doubt that they would come. He was there, my armor ready to reject the assaults long before I knew I'd need him.
You see, as we put our kids to bed each night we always read a Psalm and 2 Proverbs. Last night, we were on Psalm FIVE! Indeed, the Lord gave me THAT scripture before I even went to bed.
The Lord was placing his promise and his truth in my heart even before it was needed. Waking up to that same scripture is no small coincidence. In fact, it's one large confirmation!
Ephesians 6:14 -18
"Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the Gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. WIth this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints."
The Lord knows that there will be spiritual warfare. There are wanted posters all over hell with Levi's picture even as we speak. Nothing we do for the Kingdom comes without expense to the darkness. In fact, every piece of paper we complete, every day we draw closer to Levi is a day that the enemy quivers that he may loose one more soul!
I'm Prepared for Battle!
(and once again, my sweet friend sent me these words to encourage). THANK YOU!
Nehemiah 4:14 (NIV)
After I looked things over, I stood up and said to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people, "Don't be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes."
0 comments:
Post a Comment