I give!

O.K. so while I was admittedly throwing a 2 year old tantrum the other day about the wait time, it seems the Lord still has so much for me to learn ... in multiple areas of my life.

"To Live is Christ, to die is Gain"

Oh how hard that is, right?  And to be honest, he's working on this exact thing in every place of our lives in our family.  As my precious hubby moves ahead bold and confident, following the Lord in obedience with 2 businesses, we wait and trust that his hard work will produce fruit and blessings.  We wait ... is this my theme?  We wait and wait and wait in every place of our lives.  Dying to self is a concept we're seeing across all areas of lives.  So. Hard.  

I sent a text to a few sweet friends and asked them to pray on Tuesday.  Tuesday was so so hard.  All I knew to do was to drop to my knees and well, honestly, I knew my knees were not enough that day.  Encouragement and other's needed.  Hmmm mmmm.  

I got such sweet responses.  Community!

One sweet friend shared a sweet text of encouragement ... a friend that is also walking this long journey and has waited for his promises revealed.  In her note she talked of dying to expectations.  Hmmm mmmm, there we go again, that whole die to self concept. Argh!

Another sweet friend sent me a text late in the evening.  This gal is a prayer warrior like I have never known.  I love to hear her pray, I love to know she is praying for me and I know that when she says she's storming the gates ... she has drawn in for a battle and the enemy is terrified!  So, my text from her was a sweet one.  She said she was praying that God would bring Levi and I together in my dreams.  That he would connect our spirits across time and space so that I may be encouraged and he may be encouraged until the day draws in that he is in our arms.  Oh how I love this prayer.  I have begun to pray this for myself.  As I read these words my thoughts immediately went to the days long before we actually began this journey when the Lord gave me several dreams of a small child, of chocolate skin, wearing a blue shirt.  I know in my dreams now that that was my Levi ... could the Lord then have already been knitting us together in our dreams ... across time and space?  

So today, my perspective is slowly changing.  Still it is hard to think we could wait and wait and wait some more.  But as I wait, I am encouraged and in his word reminded by a sweet community of his promise.  In the end, I give in.  I can kick and scream like a two year old which to be honest, I am sure I'll do again somewhere in this journey or I can put on my big girl panties and do this like a big girl.  

Habakkuk 2:3 "But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed."

I just lost my lunch

Today felt just like this rollercoaster ... nose dive!  I went from preparation mode and feeling so sure that with passing up 7 months of DTE that we were just around the bend to that long awaited day ... REFERRAL DAY!  

to

NOPE ... not gonna happen ... not for a while!

I was siting in the middle of a meeting for Ground to Cup when I heard an e-mail come in on my phone.  Sneaking a peek I see that it's from my family coordinator, Jennifer.  

Hmmmmm ... wonder what it says?

As your family is in the waiting stage of the adoption process, we are writing to inform you of a change to our predicted timeframes between dossier submission and referral.     

The wait for an infant male referral is now predicted to be between 10 and 16 months.  The wait for an infant female referral is now predicted to be between 11 and 18 months.  Wait times currently show a trend of increasing.

There are many factors that contribute to wait times. Each child’s case can vary in the amount of time it takes to be ready to be referred to a family.  America World thoroughly investigates each case and it can take weeks, and at times months, to clear referrals with medical or documentation issues, or to obtain necessary governmental documents/clearances/etc. that are needed before he or she can be referred. 

While we know this news is disappointing, we are encouraged to share that MOWCYA has increased the number of recommendation letters they write to 15 per day. We will continue to apprise your family of any other changes that occur, and we are praying for your family and all families in the various stages of the adoption process.  Please feel free to let me know if you have any follow up-questions.

UGH!  There went my lunch.  Just like that, I went from sitting at the top of the roller coaster to taking a plunging and gut wrenching fall.  

Of course.  Lucky me, I was amidst others so I bravely held back the tears and forced a smile the next several hours...

until the drive home

GUSH!  Sob!  

What does this mean?  7 months isn't even close to "our day"!  Our wait just got 
LOOOOOONGER!  

Oh, I trust the Lord.  I know what you want to say to me "His timing is perfect".   Believe me, I know it is!  I know he is faithful and I know his timing is perfection ...But frankly, I just have to be totally honest and say that Today.Felt. AWFUL!  Today, I got kicked in the gut.  Today, someone let the air out of my tires.  Today, I nose dived down a roller coaster - and I don't even like roller coasters - and threw up on my way down.  Simply put.

Today ...THIS SUCKS!  

So, we wait and wait and wait some more.  Yep, that's what you do when the Lord calls you to something ... you trust and you wait.  And sometimes, in the middle of it all, you 


cry

And even when your done crying, 
you praise him!  

Field of Dreams

One of my favorite movie's is "Field of Dreams".  Remember how the character, Kevin Costner, keeps hearing "if you build it, they will come"?  And indeed, he does ... and they do!  A field of greats appear in his once, corn field, made into a spectacular baseball field when he does just that ... prepares a place for them!

Or how about just like Jesus tells us?  He tells us in John 14:2 "In my Father's House are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you.  I am going there to prepare a place for you.  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am 


We don't know what heaven looks like or feels like.  We can't "see" our father preparing that place but we know by his word that he is!  Just think,  just like our room for Levi ... your Father is preparing a room for you!  Let that sink in!

So, in thinking about our 7 month anniversary today for our Levi, I realized that I too am preparing a place for him.  And like Jesus will do for us, we indeed will fill that space one day!  The problem is, most of our preparation (though not at all a bad thing) has been of the heart and emotions.  We pray and talk of him OFTEN.  I have read and continue to read a gazillion books on adoption to the point that I am starting to diagnose every kid I meet with an "issue".  But, the one thing I haven't done yet was to prepare his physical place.

Right now, poor sweet Levi's room is nothing more than a junk room.  What was once our girl's bedroom (oooh, see, I have prepared ... I moved them out so he could move in) has since become a place for all the stuff we haven't yet decided what to do with.  A T.V sits on the floor surrounded by bean bags for playing the play station that sprawls across the floor.  The walls are still yellow and still adorn the words "Dakota" and "Maliah" where their beds once were.  Curtains complete with cute little lady bugs dangling off them hang from the window.  A modge podge of "stuff" ... but not necessarily his fills his space.  I do have to give us some credit!  A closet FULL of toys do await our Levi ... match box cars, train tracks, GI Joe figures and a huge TeePee.  Courtesy of one awesome big brother who graciously made us aware on his 11th birthday just a few short weeks ago, that it was time for the pass down, the closet is full.  Levi, you may not have a bed ... and you might have yellow walls with lady bugs ... but Canyon has got you covered in boy toys!

SO, we have decided


"If we build it, he will come".  


Made that first step today and purchased the bedding I have been looking at.  And lucky me ... perhaps the number 7 is lucky ... because it had gone on SALE!  


Want to see his bedding?  It's super cute!  And, because we won't know what he likes/dislikes, we decided to go with something without a "theme" and add to it as we see what he loves.  Of course, our bedding doesn't have "Ryder" monogrammed on the pillow.  After much discussion between Dakota and I, we also decided to not do monogramming because as Dakota said "what if Levi decides he doesn't want to be Levi after all" GASP!  What if, we actually love his given name?  We just might!

And, just like the awesome movie, "Field of Dreams" ... I am certain once we build it, our space will also be eventually filled with someone GREAT!

Is 7 really a lucky number?

7 month DTEaversary.  7 months since our paperwork arrived in Ethiopia.  

Will 7 be the "lucky" 7?  Only the Lord knows ....

Dear Friday,

Dear Friday,
Each week you come and well, it's not your fault that I have learned to dread you.  Saturday and Sunday, I know your great ... but really ... Monday through Friday these days are my favorite. They are the days of possibilities!  They are the days that bring promises and answered prayers for the many who await them.   But, don't fear Friday (or Sat. or Sunday), one day I'll return again to loving you ... just as soon as my home is filled with the promise HE gave!


Yep ... here comes the weekend ... and with it, here it comes ... the official "7" months of waiting.  I've always loved the number 7 and while I don't believe in "luck", perhaps somewhere amidst the 7 month mark we'll have a little "luck" of our own.  

Cross on over with us!

On June 17th we were blessed to have an awesome event, "The No Double Yellow Line" where my husband's coffee company, Ground to Cup Coffee officially launched our CarePoint Sponsorship "Warancha" in Awassa, Ethiopia.  We partnered our evening with my bestie and the oh so talented and incredible Cindy Foote as she debuted her new EP release of "No Double Yellow Line" that features 7 songs on adoption and orphan care.  (Go on over and get yourself a copy ... my adoption friends, you will be so encouraged by her songs while you wait!)

The night was more than we hoped or imagined as Cindy blew our socks off and brought the guests to both tears and laughter as she shared the world of adoption through her own lens ... 3 times over.

Michael Vinson of Children's HopeChest , shared the vision of why we are doing what we are doing ... working to get 150 children of Awassa, Ethiopia sponsored and spurred us each to action as he shared the heartbeat of their amazing ministry ... YOU!  HopeChest couldn't do what they do to provide Hope for so many lives without each family who gives of their heart and time to a child sponsor.

Doug Martine, (my amazing hubby) of Ground to Cup called us from a place of complacency to action and asked us each to get involved.   The Ground to Cup team is so excited about this partnership with HopeChest and this CarePoint and truly we feel like our motto "bringing other's a Hope and Future" is exemplified through each family who joins us to love big this community.

I shared my heart for the orphan and personal testimonies of seeing first hand stories of children who have been sponsored in Ethiopia from my trip in February.  I shared the reality of what life for a child might look like when their is no hope for an education, meals, discipleship and medical care.  With a badge of honor, each child hold's your family, their sponsor family, close to their hearts.  Even from afar, your relationship is valued and worth far more to each child than any other worldly possession!

An impromptu time of prayer over the Ethiopia program and families had me in tears at the end.  Cindy called ET families to the front and as the spirit led, friends (and strangers) from the crowd came to the front to lay hands on those of us in this program ... and prayed on behalf of our families and on behalf of the Ethiopia program at large.  As well, during Cindy's song "Bring our Children Home", she asked each adopting family in the audience to stand (wowie, there were LOTS!) and as she sang, she asked those near each family to lay hands on the standing families and sing this song over each of them as a prayer and blessing over their journey and child.  Tears!  (go check out the song and the lyrics).

25 families picked up sponsor packets that night and so far around 13 of those families have followed up and activated those sponsorships.  There is many many more children looking for that hope that you can give.  Just think for $1 a day, you can change the future of a child forever.

So, come on, join us as we embark on this new adventure.  We're learning it all with you and excited to see what is in store.  For sure .... trips to love our children will be on the future horizon!  For all my Ethiopia adoption loving friends, you can continue loving the kids of Ethiopia long past the day of bringing your own home.  What an awesome opportunity to give your child to bless his/her birth country ... and even one day return with us to love these kids big!

*If you are interested in sponsoring a child ($34/month), leave me a comment with your e-mail address and I will get in touch with you*  

Special Thank You's for the night cannot go unnoticed.  Without these folks, this event would have never happened!

• Crossbridge Community Church - your willingness to step up and open your beautiful facility to us was a blessing!  Thank you Debbie Ashton for all you did!
• David and Billie Gill, Debbie and Paul Graff, Evelyn Demelio, Janet and Bill Gonser - the catering and kitchen team who cooked and served all 220 people that night!  Your hands of service were amazing!  
• Evelyn Demelio - your yummy cakes!  Thank you!
• Ground to Cup Coffee - Briskets, coffee, coordination of the event
• Billy and Cindy Foote and their amazing band!  Thank you to each of you for coming all this way to make this night a huge success
• Jennifer Verme - the amazing centerpieces that adorned each and every table.  You are talented beyond our imagination!
• Michael Vinson and Children's HopeChest for the opportunity to partner with you in Ethiopia!
• Our community; friends and family who joined the night and made it fabulous!
• Those who have said "yes" to sponsorship!  This is only the beginning to the rest of the story! 

"In case you think we're all a bit crazy ...

I get the question often,"how much longer until you know who Levi is"?  On Leno's top 10 questions of the year, it should be this question ... and not just for me ... but for MANY of my friends in this thing we call "the adoption community".  If I knew this answer, life would be, well, predictable and then that would just be too easy for international adoption!  So, on our yahoo group we keep an "unofficial" DTE list of all our families by date.  Why unofficial?  Well, because our agency doesn't actually just give us this list because that too would make things more predictable ... and who needs that?  There may be families out there whom have never joined our "group" - gasp!  But if they have, then they have also, like me, added their DTE (Day to Ethiopia - as in the day your paperwork went off), their preference on age/gender etc to this "list".  And because well, we're all a bit crazy over the unknowns ... we try to give ourselves some sort of idea by knowing who is before us so by some random chance we can predict the unpredictable.  As referrals come to those families we take them off this list below and add them to a list we call a "NAG" (needs at a glance) where we pray them through their court date, embassy clearance and scheduled arrival home.  Yep, we're big brother to one another ... we know where we all are. HAHA

So, if you look at this list, you'll find my family down there under "DTE 12/9/10".  And yes, on the list there are many families whose paperwork went off before ours did ... BUT ... then you can also see the age/gender request for each family and see that most families request an infant.  We are what AWAA calls "The no trend history" fam.  I thought I'd throw one more way to be unpredictable in to my life.   Not many folks request this group of kids and yes, we have a #2 by our name ... which recently was moved from a #1 by our name (to which we had been for a loong time).  But , LOOK AGAIN ... the family in #1 is seeking a girl of our age group so that would "officially" on the "unofficial" list make us #1 - STILL.

But in the end, in case you think we're all a bit crazy for all this tracking and work we do to find one bit of shred of a guess or idea on our timeframe, we are.  But, the good news is as you can see from just the beginning of this list ... because there are many families after me and before me... that I am not alone! 

And so, when you ask "How long until you know who Levi is?".  The only thing I can do is check "this list" and try to predict the unpredictable ... because truly the only one who knows officially, is the Lord who created him, called us, and will finish this!